The second period of the 33 days of consecration, called “Knowledge of Self,” has come to a close. I feel like I fell behind this week, even though I kept up with the readings and prayer was fruitful. I felt down all week, pondering the responsibilities of baptismal vows in light of some recent blunders, coupled with not being able to make Confession. The greatest knowledge made clear to me this week was both the weight and glory of redemption, and how little it’s deserved. But also that the response should not be discouragement (because pride is wounded), but in humility with gratitude, hope, and love. I feel a bit like I’m running to catch up, wanting to reflect more on topics from this week like the call to holiness, gift of self, and communion with love.
But as I move into this next period, “Knowledge of Mary”, I can see how these topics all flow naturally into reflection of Mary’s interior life. The purpose is to discover that as we grow in knowledge of Mary, she will lead us to a greater love and knowledge of her Son by meditating on her interior life using Scripture and the Rosary. In his book Totus Tuus, Fr. McMaster also includes writings of St. John Paul II to guide these reflections and prayer.
Before beginning the consecration, I reflected a lot on my perception of Mary, and how it has changed, beginning with my initial discomfort (at times disgust, honestly), up to the present when I realized the necessity in my own spiritual life of making this consecration. Over the next few days I’m going to post installments of that brief part of my on-going conversion.